Oh Lisa, that is terrible. I am sorry you feel this way. Quick question…why don’t your kids live with you at least half the time?

It really does sound like you are depressed. Have you tried counseling? And have you tried to disengage from the skids. I think that is the most important thing.

If I dwelt on all of the things that could bring me down on a daily basis (homesickness, the loss of a house and car that I owned outright for no car and a small rental unit, loss of a career for a part time job, loss of each and every one of my friends, loss of a pet I loved more than anything, loss of my independence, loss of my self esteem, loss of good health) I’d be curled up in a fetal position sucking my thumb every waking moment of the day!

It’s SO easy to dwell on the negative when it seems that’s all there is… pain and negativity. Hell… some days just seeing a news article about the Tea Party threatens to push me into stepping into traffic with my eyes closed… I guess all I’m saying is you have to find *any* little bit of happiness to hold on to, and clutch it to yourself like a life raft in the middle of the ocean!!! It may not be your husband… it may not be *anything* around you right now… but find something to keep your mind straight.

I’m really sorry you’re hurting so bad… I understand all too well what you’re going through… *hugs*

I am sorry you're feeling so low right now. I think I understand how you're feeling because I've had a rough year myself, including a job loss, breakup, and health scare with one of my kids (they're fine, thank goodness).

Like you, I left my home to be with my exbf and left a secure and well-paying job as well. I have tortured myself with regret but am finally starting to let it go. I have felt, and still feel sometimes, like I am getting punished for taking a chance on love and wish I could go back in time, but lately, I am trying to look at it as a learning experience. Maybe you can take something from these hard times too.

Being jobless and living in a town without friends or family is hard. Can you pick one area of your life to work on and focus on that? I am not married, so finding a job is my top priority, that and caring for my kids, but I also needed a support system. I'm getting there. I started volunteering for a couple of nonprofits and have made some new friends, one in particular who is becoming a very good friend. I am still homesick but feeling a bit more like part of my community -- in my mind, this town seems like exbf's town and definitely not mine!

I also reached out to people in my neighborhood and am forging some new friendships there as well. Maybe you could do the same? I didn't and still don't feel like pushing myself but there always seems to be something good to come out of it. Sometimes just getting out there and getting my mind off things is wonderful.

Have you considered talking with a counselor and/or taking antidepressants? I know my counselor has helped me tremendously and as painful as the last few years have been with all the stepfamily drama, breakup, and other stress, I feel talking to my counselor is really helping me grow...sort of like something good is coming out of something bad.

I just want to send you some cyber hugs. I can tell you're having a really tough time and I just want you to know someone, lots of us, understand.

Start thinking of one thing you can do for you, something you're interested in or something that can help improve your situation for YOU. I know it is difficult to motivate when you're depressed but even baby steps add up.

You will get through this. Bad times cannot last forever.

Hugs to you...

I like disappearing into books and movies… it’s totally covering up the true issues, but it’s what gets me through a lot of bad days…

Curl up with a glass of wine and a good picture show and life seems to fade into the background a little… Bill Murray and Morgan Freeman are better than any antidepressant on the market in my opinion. *winks*

I am sorry. Depression sucks... but it doesn't have to be hopeless. I know: I have struggled with both anxiety and depression... A good counselor is a life saver. I went to one that focuses on the mind, body and spirit.

You must take a shower everyday, get dressed, and get outside for fresh air and sunshine. Take a yoga class and learn how to relax and meditate on good things. Watch a comedy and laugh... Meet with friends... Take a creative arts class.. any kind.. pottery, painting, jewlery making... Learn a new language. Something for you! Take a bubble bath and paint your toenails... Buy some lavender... Seriously!

I got Netflix during an especially dark period and I do the same thing...escape with wine and DVDs, lol. I read a lot too, which is a distraction, and walk/run/bike -- anything physical almost every day. It helps to burn off the stress and relieve some of my anxiety. I also took up knitting -- it's mindless and gets my mind off things. Very relaxing.

I know it's hard...trust me, I've been there..but there must be some things that you are thankful for (your health, a loving husband etc.) and I would try to make a list and focus on those good points when the bad seem to be weighing on you. I also tried to remember when I was feeling at my lowest that things can only get better!

Change starts with you! Stop wishing for a past that is gone (and obviously impossible to obtain) Instead focus your energy on what CAN be obtained and go for it!!

Please, I'm no therapist, but I'm a woman, who has been through alot and if you ever need anyone to talk or vent to feel free to PM me... I'm sure just about everyone else here would be just as willing!!