BM's thought process is beyond me..
I don't understand why BM does the things she does. I'm so confused!
Like most have read, DH has temporary custody of SD and most likely it will remain this way. I blogged a few days ago about why BM packed up all of SD's things. You guys were right, BM has(seems to have) given up. During the temporary order hearing yesterday, BM didn't really try to fight it. She did talk in circles about things that are completely irrelevent, but she didn't act the way we expected. She didn't cry, beg, or make a scene like she normally would have done.
She isn't responding to papers like she normally would do. She isn't trying to violate the restraining order like we all thought she would.
I'm not understanding how a woman who says she loves her kids SOOOO much, who tried her hardest to PAS SD, kept SD away from DH for no good reason, who absolutely loves to be in control, can just drop her kids. I'm not understanding. Why put DH through all this stress and heartbreak for over 6 years and then one day when it gets difficult for her, she just stops fighting. I know she has a huge up hill battle(cutody fight), but I really can't fathom how a mother just pretty much gives up. She should have just let DH raise SD from the beginning, I mean her behavior shows how much she really loves her kids.
Don't get me wrong, DH and I are very happy that we have SD now, but it still breaks our heart knowing that BM doesn't truely care for SD like she should.
- LaMareOssa's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
It has taken years for me to
It has taken years for me to finally to come to grips with, & accept, that there are some people...no matter how hard you try, no matter how much time you spend, no matter how many books you read, no matter how much blood, sweat, & tears you put into trying to understand them, trying to make any sense out of their behavior or thought process...you can't. You simply canNOT.
Our BM is one of those people. Although to my knowledge she has never been diagnosed with such, I would bet money that she has NPD or something like it.
The reason you can't understand it, & will never be able to understand it, is because it makes no sense. There is no logical explanation for it, & to try to understand it is a COMPLETE waste of time.
As soon as you come to expect a certain behavior from her, it will change. It will always be that way.
I'm glad your SD is with you & your DH & I hope it stays that way.
I think it's because they are
I think it's because they are more interested in control then the love of their kids and being a good parent.
Once control is lost they completely can walk away and not look back, nothing for them to 'feed on' anymore.
I think it's because your SD
I think it's because your SD is simply a possession to her that she used to manipulate and control you and your DH's life. Now in order for her to continue to do that she will have to work and fight to get her back and that is simply too much work for her. Now she can move into the poor helpless BM role. You know because you and your DH ripped her child from her loving arms (yeah right) and now she is the victim. She will play that hand for a while and see what she gets our of it. Then one day she will be back to cause more grief.
It is a hallmark of
It is a hallmark of immaturity to be wholly oppositional in your reasoning...if the child isn't completely yours, then you have lost them completely. If you aren't in total control, then you opt out of the situation totally. It is the final power play for weak, immature people.
Compromise and working the middle ground? That's for grown ups...something a lot of these "parents" are not. They simply can't summon the emotional maturity necessary to co-operate for the sake of their children. Pathetic.