So, after 3 years of living full time with us and BM refusing to contact SD9 during those 3 years, SD returned from her first visit in 3 yrs with BM over the summer. Needless to say, she returned to us completely brainwashed or something!? I've been in shock for the past 4 days, wondering WTF happened to this kid we used to know?! For 3 years, we went through SO much pain & agony to transform a lying, stealing, manipulating 9yo into a somewhat "normal" child. She left at the start of summer, crying that she didn't want to leave us. And NOW, she came back to us as a COMPLETE stranger and is making it clear that she wants nothing to do with us! She's gone. We lost her. She lives with us full time and after a short VISIT, she is treating us like total shit! She hasn't said a word to me for 4 days, on my birthday she deliberately turned her back to me and wouldn't even look at me all day, is dis-respecting DH like a total ASS, and ignorant to her half-sister (2 yrs old).
So today I decided, FUCK this. She will never accept me as family so I'll just ignore her attitude. THEN, she suddenly walked up to me before going to bed and said, "Goodnight mom." She reached out expecting a hug and I just couldn't muster the courage to return it. I don't want to blame or excuse any behavior on anyone's part. I just don't want to feel fucking crazy, like she always makes me feel.