LOL-- Yeah I already saw a text from his youngest.... when can I move in???

UMmmmm How about you ask the homeowner????? MY HOUSE!

ME! ME! ME!

We also just moved out of the in-laws house and into our own home. I've practically pissed in every corner to mark it as my own.

Oh boy have I established that it's my territory for sure!

Example:

When I unpacked the boxes of my stuff, I made sure one of the first boxes to get unpacked were of the photos of my son and I. I created a really nice display of them. What hasn't been put up? A single photo of the skids. Their father hasn't gotten around to it. Not my problem.

I realize that I haven't made MY house a very welcoming place at all, but considering how shitty the skids treat the things they consider "theirs" -- I'm not feeling like I've done a bad thing here.

Yes I feel this way also. Dh and I had been dating a few months when I bought my home. It is in my name only. We've talked over the years about putting his name on it-but just never really done it.

I think that is one of the reasons I get so pissy at ss14 because he treats it as HIS house. He tells ME what he thinks the household rules should be. I have told him that he has absolutely no say in what goes on in the house and I'm not interested in his opinion either.

I get it. Our house is also in my name only. I made sure SD had her own room for her weekend visits but I decorated it the way I wanted it and that's the way it stayed. Tacky posters on the wall? Nope.

You sound like a selfish person, and if I were him I would stop working on your house.

If you don't want your house going to skids after you're gone...keep it in your name only. As soon as it goes in DH's name, that makes it half his.

If you invested the costs for obtaining a loan for the house and are financially responsible for the payment----think twice before putting anyone's name on the title. Once you do,they become equal owner. Your future husband may never get to the point of being actual husband. If you two do get married and it were to only last a few years then he may expect to collect his half. Yes, he works on the house now but will that even come close to the amount you invested.

I was married to my DH for 7 years when he went into a very bad depression. He had a lot of anger issues that were directed toward me. He wanted out of the marriage. I was not the cause of his problems but I ended up being the one he turned on. When people are angry, they seldom care about fairness. Revenge and destruction was his only goal. At one point early on in our marriage I had stupidly put my totally paid for home in his name also. I was so glad that a couple years later I had him sign off and put back into my name only.

When we were briefly split up , the first thing he complained to my grown children about was how he could have taken half the house if he had not signed away his rights to it and put it back into my name. The frame of mind that he was in at the time was such that he would not have cared what he did to me or my family. His only thoughts were revenge at times.

For him, too many very tradgic things had happened in a short time period and it just put him over the edge. medications,counselling, psych care changed much for the better.

Just saying that you never know what a year from now could be like. Think it out and expect your partner to contribute equally. Painting a few rooms is not an equal contribution to all the fees and downpayment and monthly payments. Consider fairness. You did everything that needed to be done to make yourself a home owner. If future husband's finances are messed up and he could not be a partner with you then it seems he would be paying rent somewhere.

I was a non-homeowning step parent. I don't get the intense negativity toward step kids, you're with some one and planning to marry them, i would think you're working toward a family feeling. If you and your live in are partners then no matter who owns the house you and he should be consulting on who will live there and under what circumstances.

Though it was very hard for me at the time, I am glad that my husband made many decisions regarding the adult children's visits for holidays, weekends and vacations (or the times that they moved in with us for months). I would have by nature and principle said no much more often but for the sake of "looking good" in the eyes of my DH and his kids, i kept quiet. I have become a more giving and charitable person because of that.

Rach