I have only been a member of this site for a few weeks and have read many of the post on here in hopes of finding some help for my current situation. Which is trying to build a relationship with my SS17. There is a lot to my story which I am not going to get into as this is not what my post is about. My post is about all us step parents who go into relationships with people who had children. We knew this when we met them. Now I know situations can change from the skids being their all the time to only once in a while. I get that. But my issue is WE all knew they had kids with someone else. I see so many people commenting that " you wanted the relationship with your partner not the kids" But they are a package deal. You can't have one without the other. I also realize that there are EX's etc to contend with. By NO means is any of this easy. You can't make your partners choose their kids or you that is NOT fair to them. The kids were there before we were, we are the adults NOT them. We need to start acting like it and if we can handle the heat then get out of the fire!