Got a call from FH today - he's away at training for a week - the BM has SS5 going to a counselor TOMORROW - against the joint-parenting agreement - NEITHER parent has the right to make any medical decisions without the consent of the other parent unless it is an emergency. Seeking out a counselor because she sees "behavioral" issues in her home is not an emergency. And we don't even see those issues in our home. It drives my FH nuts, which I think is why she does it - to invoke a response - to get him to lose his cool. Funny part is, in the 2 years they've been divorced she has never asked for the kids' insurance cards...but the last 3 weeks she's demanded everything, cards, releases, etc. And low and behold - look why - to VIOLATE the JOINT PARENTING AGREEMENT. No wonder I have headaches, my FH doesn't sleep, and the kids are suffering - she is only hurting them (especially SS5)! She needs to take BS13 to the frickin psychiatrist - that's where the problem lies - not in our home - in HERS!!
At it Again
Submitted by bren1981 on Tue, 02/09/2010 - 1:41am.»
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What's wrong with SS5 going
What's wrong with SS5 going to a counselor? If there are behavioral issues, the counselor will see them, and if not, the counselor will explain to BM that SS5 is acting like a normal 5yr old little boy.
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“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
yeah what is wrong with a
yeah what is wrong with a counselor? i always say all kids should be in counselign post divorce anyways. and she should have all the insurance info. you guys shouldhave given it to her even when she never asked...that is just responsible acting.
It isn't about taking him to
It isn't about taking him to a counselor - that part is fine - the problem is her doing it against the joint parenting agreement. My FH has the right to be there and make those decisions. As for the insurance info - there's never been an issue about the cards - as the kids see all the same doctors they always have, and they already have them - its not the issue about her wanting the cards...read my other blog first folkmom. The issue is about the havoc she is creating or proporting on SS5, and her complete disregard to the Joint Parenting Agreement, a legally binding document which she signed.
so your dad does not want
so your dad does not want counseling? and would seek to stop it?
No he's not against
No he's not against counseling - but he'd like to do that jointly with BM and himself present. Its a mudslinging contest on her part - and for her to portray incorrect information or coax SS5 to say things that aren't true is the issue.
I totally get what you are
I totally get what you are saying...It's not the fact that she is putting him in counseling, it's the fact that DH was not involved in the decision-making.
At least she is doing something that is in the best interest of the child. Whether you or FH feel that he needs counseling, counseling is always useful at any age. I know it is irritating that she is going around FH but is it hurting the child for her to do?
I would make sure she is aware that FH is responsible for making decisions WITH her and in the future he is to be consulted before any decisions are made (unless in an emergency). I would just document this and let it go...
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How other people treat you is their karma - how you react to it yours.
I see your point about her
I see your point about her arbitrarily scheduling SS w/o including DH in on the matter.
Good luck with enforcing the DD if you live in NYS. Our BM, the Girhippo TOTALLY violated EVERYTHING in the DD, yet SO just rolled over and let her, not realizing it was a PAS manuever. Yet she would hold HIS feet to the fire about carrying insurance for the three skids; when SO no longer had a job with insurance to carry the skids, she put them on her cadillac, gov't worker's insurance but upped the CS in compensation of course. And wanted to go RETROACTIVE!!! SO wouldnt' believe me "oh she wouldn't do THAAA-AAAAT!" Yeah right. At least your DH is standing up for his parental rights instead of rolling over and getting stomped on with 6" soccer cleats the way my SO did; then blaming ME for being paranoid!!
**fine print disclaimer** this is not the children's fault of course but they do seem to recognize that daddy or mommy will obey them from an early age and take COMPLETE advantage of it as human nature dictates. This is COMPLETELY due to poor parenting.
Cruella (BM) tends to feed
Cruella (BM) tends to feed information to both skids. However, SS5 is at that impressionable age where he repeats what he's told. And unfortunately, with my FH not being present we have no way to keep the facts in check. If Cruella just was taking him in the best interest for his behavioral issues (which again, we don't see in our household) there would be no issues. She's plotting something. We aren't paranoid - we have all the threatening messages to prove it. Its just complicated - no I am not against taking Sunshine (SS5) to a counselor. Its my boundary that Love Muffin (FH) gets to go with and arbitrate Cruella's false information. That's all I meant by it. Of course I want Sunshine to have the best possible life, with all the help he may or may not need. Its just a stabbing thats deep in the back - she did this on purpose. She plotted and ployed without informing Love Muffin...