It's a terrible feeling - I completely understand. I used to feel EOW that I was also a stranger in my home that had no say and no one to talk to and a complete second class citizen. I used to feel that the only time I got attention was when after SS was in bed and DH wanted "some". Revolted me, really, and made me so resentful of SS when really I should have been pissed with DH.

Counselling helped DH understand where I was coming from... finally. Now, I am consulted and an active participant in visitations. My opinion is sought. I have a say in what we do, when we do it and how we do it. It makes the world of difference. I no longer feel jealous (it was one of the first times in my life that I had actually felt pure jealousy not being a jealous person by nature) and am no longer resentful of SS when he is here. Now, I look forward to his visits but only because DH stepped up and took action to integrate all of us. Before, he used to tell me that it was my job to feel included and I was the one to step up and be involved. Pffft - how could I when I was never being heard or never feeling wanted?

It gets us all in trouble.

You think because he loves his daughter, it takes away from the bond that you have. When in reality it absolutely does not. If he loves her, does that mean he doesn't love you? or vice versa? Of course not.

We're human. We want to cherish bonds without outside influences. But it's part of life, we're always evolving. The world takes a toll and all we can do is adapt. We can't keep wishing that it could go "back to the way it was" or hoping that it could be a certain way "if only".

You are not "sharing" a man. You are merely sharing time and accepting that his time is needed by others than just you. This is not a bad thing. It's just a part of life. Don't place all your happiness and value in just one person, this is a recipe for codependence and will only result in frustration. If you feel alienated, change your surroundings so that it is all inclusive. Or allow them alone time and embrace your own independence.

The only part of this equation you have the power to change... is you.

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

I cant tell you the last time we ate together. They eat all day long until 4pm then they eat dinner around 8 or 9pm. I am eating my dinner alone by the computer while I am writing this. It has an upside tho, I have peace thru my dinnertime.